Depression Chronicles #2
"Abandoned, alone, lost, and tired like i just need to sit and once i do, i can't get back up. Like everything inside of me is crying out but noone is there. Just absolutely alone"
If you are to overcome abandonment, you must first be realistic and identify why it affects you to the extent that it does. Abandonment is a complex issue. Similar to dealing with the death of a loved one, abandonment involves a deep sense of loss.
But unlike grieving over a departed friend or relative, there is little or no closure with abandonment. In some cases, there are no goodbyes and no last words; just loss. The finality of death is certain, but abandonment issues deal with the uncertainty of whether the loved one will ever return, why they left in the first place, and whether or not the one abandoned will ever be able to trust the one who abandoned them again. And like being rejected, being abandoned may usher in an extreme loss of self-worth. Knowing why you hurt so badly is the first step
If you have been hurt deeply by abandonment, you will usually deal with your pain in one of two ways: You might become overly needy and require constant attention and reassurance, or you might go to the opposite extreme and resolve to never allow yourself to become deeply invested in anyone ever again.
If you're part of the former category, you deal with abandonment by attempting to fill the empty space in your heart with anyone who is willing to give you attention. You will often come on too strong too early in a relationship, thus scaring off your potential mate or friend and reinforcing the idea that you aren't worth loving.
If you're part of the latter category, you keep friends, relative, and romantic interests at an arm's length, and will not become deeply emotionally involved, so that if and when abandonment occurs again, the hurt is not as deep.
You must be honest enough with yourself to figure out which of these you are.